It’s been 16 months since Moe’s death, and I have gone through all of MY firsts without him. Today, our son graduated from kindergarten and while I was selfishly crying because Moe wasn’t here for me, I realized that this was Mojo’s FIRST milestone without his dad. We received two tickets, one for each parent, but for Mojo, “his dad wasn’t coming.”
As moms, we make everything. The parent meetings, the birthday parties and school functions. Daddy’s don’t miss graduations. Daddy’s are supposed to get them dressed, brush their hair and, if your dad was Moe, spray a little cologne. Mojo said the four words that pierced through my already broken heart, “my dad isn’t coming.” My only response as I fought back tears was, “I know baby.”
It hadn’t dawned on me that he would have his “firsts” too. This was only the beginning. As he walked down the aisle of the church this morning and looked into the crowd of parents, his eyes locked with my tearful eyes. He saw his mom, but his dad was not there. This time, he wasn’t running late. He wasn’t in court. Moe was in heaven.
The tears began to roll down my face. In that moment, Mojo leaned over and put his head on my shoulder. No words. It was like he knew. I couldn’t be any prouder of this kid. He finished kindergarten while grieving his father during a pandemic.
My advice to any widow with a young child is to allow your child to express their feelings and most importantly, let them see you grieve. As mothers, we want to protect them, but what they really need to know is that their feelings are valid.
We both miss Moe so much and today was hard, but we made it…together. One milestone down, a lifetime to go.